There You'll Be
by Mishka
Summary: Song fic - There You'll Be (Faith Hill). Set directly after the Cell Games, this is Chichi's POV of life without Goku.
1. Loss

There You'll Be 1.html

There You'll Be 

_Chichi's POV, set directly after the Cell Games. Based on the Song "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill._

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_Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, or Faith Hill etc etc. Please don't sue me; I have no money_

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Chapter 1: Loss 

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"I'm sorry Chichi. It's the way he wanted it." Krillin looked at me sadly. 

My mind was numb, and I felt detached from my body. _This couldn't be happening, not again, please let me wake up and know that this has all been a horrible dream._

Gohan nodded slowly, his face grave. "It's true, mum." He said. "Dad spoke to us from the other dimension… and he asked us not to wish him back -"

My stomach churned. I couldn't take it. I turned and ran as far as I could, then dropped to my knees and violently emptied the contents of my stomach.Sitting back to catch my breath, my hands rested in my lap, and I raised my face to the orange sunset sky, hoping that just maybe, I would catch a glimpse of my love soaring through the heavens. "Goku…?" I whispered.

"Mum?" Gohan's voice startled me. I turned, and my heart ached. His face looked so much like Goku's. He was so strong, just like his dad. He took a step toward me, reaching out and taking my hand. "Are you OK?"

His eyes were beginning to well up with tears. "Oh, my poor little Gohan…" I snatched him into my arms. Grief overcame me, tears flowing freely down my cheeks and into Gohan's chest. My body heaved, wracked with pure anguish.

For how long I wept, I have no idea. By the time I had finished, my eyes were puffy and sore. I pushed Gohan to arms length and saw that he was the same. I stood slowly and led the boy inside. I was vaguely surprised to note that Krillin had remained here, sitting off to one side. He appeared to be deep in meditation.

I offered Gohan some food, but he refused. He had not taken this lightly. I knew that he still blamed himself for his father's death, no matter what anybody had said to try and console him. It was more burden than a boy his age should have to bear. I followed him to his room, and tucked him safely into his bed, where he promptly fell asleep.

I stayed with him for a while, silent, just watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. I forgot my own grief for a moment, thinking about what must have gone through my child's mind today. He had saved the world from Cell. That invincible monster had finally been defeated. But his victory was bitter sweet, for in the process, he had lost his father and mentor. It was not one of those days that Gohan would always remember, rather one that he could never forget. I wished suddenly that I hadn't broke down in front of him like I did earlier. What he needs is strength right now. I'll apologise in the morning. 

I stood and walked back into the living room. A small, framed picture on a bookshelf caught my attention, and I picked it up. I smiled at it, and plonked heavily into the lounge. "We were so happy then. We had no idea." I said quietly. The picture was of Goku, Gohan and I, laughing and enjoying the summer sun. _I remember the day we took this photo. It was so hot that day_. I ran my fingers over the picture, memories flooding back. Our dreams. Our hopes.

_And now here I am. Without you. _

I clutched the picture to me, holding it tight.I prized myself off the lounge and wandered into our bedroom. Lying on the bed was a single red rose. A lump rose in my throat. That was one of those things that Goku did for me only, and only I knew about. Every time he left to save the world, or go on some other foolish quest – whenever we would be apart, he would always leave a red rose on my pillow. It was his way of saying 'I love you'

One more silver tear rolled down my cheek as I picked up the rose and inhaled its soft perfume. _I can't believe he's truly gone._

Grief tore at me once more as I realised that I had never said 'Good bye' 

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I was woken the next morning by that itchy, niggly feeling of someone watching you. I opened my eyes slowly, and saw Gohan standing in the doorway. His unruly hair was further messed up, a tell tale sign that he had had a rough night. He smiled at me weakly, and I patted the bed next to me, gesturing him to take a seat. I realised that I had been holding Goku's rose and our picture all night. I laid them carefully on the nightstand as Gohan wedged himself underneath my arm.

Combing my fingers through his hair, I carefully planned what I could say to him. But when I opened my mouth, it came out differently. "I'm sorry, Gohan"

He peered up at me. "For what, mum?"

I took a deep breath and sighed. "I shouldn't have let myself go like that yesterday, I - " 

His face took on that softness that reminded me again of his father. "Mum, I'm glad you did." He left it hanging for a moment while I took this on board. "I know you think that what I need right now is strength, but all I have known for the past year is strength – the strength to beat Cell, and – " He sighed heavily. "Well, you know. But I think that what I really need right now is…" he paused while he searched for the word, "…release."

I hugged him tightly. "Well, you just let it all out Gohan. Mama's here." And he did. He grabbed my clothes in his fists and he cried into them as I stroked his hair, hoping it might bring him some comfort.

Some time later when he'd finished, I sat up and looked at him, my head tilted in concern. "Better?" I asked.

He nodded his head warily. I smiled. "Breakfast?"

His eyes lit up. He was a Saiyajin all right. I stood and began making my way into the kitchen. Digging around in the pantry, nausea began to make my head swirl. I sped into the bathroom, making it just in time. 

"Whew" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thought I'd got rid off all that." I mused. I cleaned myself up and returned to the kitchen finding Gohan waiting patiently at the counter. "Geez, mum. Are you OK? You look terrible."

"Thanks Gohan." I said sarcastically. "But really, I'm fine. I think I just caught that stomach flu that's been going around." _Or maybe its just stress_, I thought. But I said nothing more. 

I finished a meagre breakfast, not really feeling much like food at the moment. Gohan didn't eat quite so poorly, and even demolished what I didn't eat. 

The quietness was deafening.

Out of the window, I saw Krillin had remained on my lawn all night. It appeared as if he hadn't moved a muscle. I guessed he was hurting probably as much as me right now. He and Goku had grown up together, and they were best friends. I stood and walked slowly outside. 

"Have you been here all night?" Krillin started at my voice. Apparently his mind was so far away he didn't even sense my approach.

He stood and turned to face me, shrugging.

"Yeah. I guess I sorta owed Goku - he did save our lives after all. I couldn't think of anything else I could do other than sit here and make sure you'd both be OK." 

I smiled him, sighing. "You know, right now I feel like my world has ended. But, I guess, only time will tell." I changed the subject quickly, "You want some breakfast?"

"No thanks. I'll be going now, if it's OK. I have some things I have to do today."I nodded understandingly, and watched as he took to the air and disappeared.

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End of Chapter 1

C/C welcome, but go easy, this is my first fic ^_^


	2. Not As Bad As It Seems

Chapter 2: Not As Bad As It Seems.htm

Chapter 2: Not As Bad As It Seems 

We held a small funeral on the top of a rolling grassy hill. It was an appropriate spot, as it was one where I always used to find Goku dozing under his favourite tree. He always found some kind of peace and serenity here. Now it was the place where he could rest forever. 

I thanked all our friends for coming. Not that it was really necessary, they said. They needed closure as well. We had talked about the times we'd shared, and what we would all remember about our dear friend. We laughed, and cried, but when it was time to leave, I noted that there was a certain lightness to the atmosphere. Almost jovial. I smiled, a momentary happiness that I hadn't felt since before Goku had left that morning. 

Everyone was now going back to Capsule Corp to send Trunks back to his own time to set things right. There was much hope in his young face. I intended to follow. This was something that Goku had played too big a part in, and I would see it to the end. But I held back for a little while, the hill silent and empty but for me and my thoughts.

I knew now why Krillin had rushed off the other day. He had been the one to carve the small stone memorial for Goku. He had taken the whole deal quite hard, but seemed to find comfort in doing something that he thought would be appreciated. And they were. He had made a beautiful job. I told him that Goku was luck to have a friend like him. Then he said something that will remain with me for the rest of my life. "No," he said, "We were lucky – no, blessed to have a friend like him"

I approached the small head stone and fell to my knees. With one hand floating across the engraved letters, I read one more time. _Goku, our dear friend. You saved us all. We'll miss you._ A tear fell unchecked. "I love you, Goku." I said, hoping that wherever he was that he could hear her.

I stood and turned to follow the others, and was surprised to see that Vegeta had remained behind. I regarded him with slight astonishment, and even suspicion. He and Goku had been fierce rivals. Perhaps he came only to gloat. I didn't particularly trust this strange Saiyajin. Goku had always seen something in him that remained hidden to me. Bulma obviously saw it too. His face set like stone, he glanced over to Goku's memorial, then back to me.

"He died honourably, and without fear." He said, his face oddly expressionless. "Like a true Saiyajin warrior. You should be proud." He turned and proceeded down the hill. My eyes flicked around in confusion. Could it be that Vegeta actually had feelings? Goku had been right, after all. 

"Vegeta!" I called after him. He paused. "Thank you." 

He mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't decipher, then carried on his way.

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Every one waved at Trunks as his time machine disappeared, our hopes all with him as he returned to the future to save his own world from Cell and the Androids. It was all up to him now. He was the only one who could prevent Cell from stealing his time machine and causing a never ending repeat of our world's recent tragedies.

After he had gone, I noticed that Gohan had taken Bulma aside and was talking to her. He was gesturing in my direction, and it was obvious that they were talking about me, and Gohan was worried. He had yet to learn subtlety. I rolled my eyes as Bulma sauntered over to grab my arm and haul me into her laboratory. 

She sat me down and glared at me critically. "Now, Gohan tells me that you've been quite sick. He's worried about you. And now that he's mentioned it, you don't look so great."

I sighed as I peered over to the mirror on the wall. They were right, though. I'd seen better days. I tried to assure my worried friend that I would be fine in a few days - that it was just some stomach flu that had probably gotten to me because of the stress of losing Goku.

"Well, I insist that I take some blood samples from you. You can never be to careful these days"

"Fine" I resigned. I was too tired to argue. "If it makes you happy."

Bulma quickly got to work. She took a tube of blood, and wheel herself around on her chair getting slides and a microscope. Peering down it, she examined the drop of blood from all angles, and under multiple lenses, her "Hmmmm" s giving me no clue as to what she had, or had not found.

"Interesting…" she said. She stood up after several minutes, and took a syringe, then squirted some blood into a small machine at the far end of her workbench. It began beeping and clicking away as it processed the information.

"Well?" I asked.

Bulma said nothing, but peered into a screen on the front of the machine. I couldn't read it, as I was sitting too far away. 

A smile grew on Bulma's face, spreading from ear to ear.

My anticipation was mounting. "What?!" 

"I have your results here."

"And?"

"It's not as bad as it seems"

I was about to explode. Why was she dragging this out? It was getting unbearable.

She walked slowly over to me, and took my hand. I could see that she could barely contain herself either. "Chichi…" she said, 

My eyes widened, encouraging her to spill it.

"You're pregnant."

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End of Chapter 2

C/C Welcome. (Please go easy, it's my first fi ^_^ )


	3. Gain (Revelations)

Gain.htm

Chapter 3: Gain (Revelations) 

Lately I'd found myself going to the top of that grassy knoll where Goku lay, often spending the whole day up there. Naturally, I had my own reasons for going there, but I also soon discovered why Goku had liked this place so much. There was a calm serenity about it, and whenever I sat in the shade of the tree that sheltered Goku's memorial, I felt a bliss that reminded me of Goku's own presence. It was almost like he was always there, waiting for me. 

I had begun to feel selfish, that I had focussed on my own loss, that I had been blinded to what I really had. Sure, Goku was gone. I would never feel his touch, or hear his voice. But he was never far away. My memories were as clear and sharp as if they had only happened a moment ago.

I remembered fondly all the times we shared. How we met. Our first kiss. Gohan. 

Even our hardships, the pain of losing our friends, and the threat of earth's destruction. 

I remembered all the dreams we shared, and the things we always talked about, but never did. _But still, I have no regrets, because you gave me something that has made my life complete._

"Remember the first time you took my flying?" I chuckled. "I closed my eyes so tight, and by the time I opened them, we were so high up that I could barely even see people below us. But I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared because you were right there. I felt like I could do anything as long as I had you."

I closed my eyes and pictured Goku's smiling face, and leaned back against the tree. I laid a hand on my belly. It had been several months since Bulma had gold me the news, but I had only recently begun to show. 

I watched the setting sun as we so often did. The air was becoming chilly. Winter would be here soon, I thought. I closed my eyes again, breathing in the dusky autumn breeze.

Out of the blue I felt him move. My eyes widened in surprise. _He kicked_. I couldn't believe it. It was the first time I'd actually felt him. I erupted in giggles as he did it again. "Oh Goku, I wish you could be here" I said longing for him to be able to feel what I did. Then, as if in answer to my plea, I felt a strangely warm breeze blow across my body. Too warm - considering the air temperature. 

"Goku?" I cast my eyes towards the sky. "I know that was you." I said quietly. Perhaps I was losing my mind, but if I was sure of anything, I was sure of this. 

"Goku, my love. I never got to say good bye, but what pains me most is that I never said thank you." I looked down, thoughtful.

"I wish I'd said this before. You gave me so much strength, you were what made me make it through all the hard times. I owe you everything, Goku. You gave me reason, and made my life mean something. And all the times I yelled at you for leaving me while you went off to save the world… it's only now I realise that we were never really apart, as long as I held you in my heart, and me in yours."

I smiled at my partially distended belly. "It was so like you. You've left me a part of us, the last testament of our love." A tear ran down my face, and my throat choked up. "You never could really leave me alone. There was always something to remind me."

I saw Gohan approaching. He never flew up here, maybe out of respect, I didn't know. 

"I thought I'd find you up here." He said. I sniffed and wiped my face on my sleeve."Are you OK, mum?"

"Your brother kicked just now. Come here." I placed his hand on my stomach, and sure enough, as if he knew, there was a tiny kick.

Gohan's eyebrows rose. "Woah! Geez, I wish dad could be here…" he left it hanging. 

I regarded him solemnly, and then smiled. "He is." I whispered. Slowly my meaning dawned on him, and he nodded understandingly. "You mean that there's a part of dad in me and the baby, don't you?"

"Mm hm" I affirmed. "And we carry him in here" I laid my hand on my chest, "so wherever we are, he'll always be there."

I made an attempt then to get up, but my legs were cramped up. I must have been sitting there for too long. "Lend me a hand, would you Gohan, dear?" He reached down, and hauled me up with ease.

"You gonna be OK, mum?"

As we strolled back down the hill heading for home, I placed my arm around my son's shoulders. "You know what, Gohan?" I said. 

"I think I'm going to be just fine."

When I think back on these times On the dreams we left behind I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get 

_To have you in my life_

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_When I look back on these days_

_I look to see your face_

_You were right there for me_

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_In my dreams I'll always see you_

_Soar above the sky_

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you_

_For all my life_

_I'll keep a part of you with me_

_And everywhere I am_

_There you'll be_

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_Well you showed me how it feels_

_To feel the sky within my reach_

_And I always will remember all_

_The strength you gave to me_

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_Your love made me make it through_

_Oh, I owe so much to you_

_You were right there for me_

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_In my dreams I'll always see you_

_Soar above the sky_

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you_

_For all my life_

_I'll keep a part of you with me_

_And everywhere I am_

_There you'll be_

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_'Cause I always saw in you _

_My light, my strength_

_And I want to thank you now for all the ways_

_You were right there for me_

_You were right there for me_

_For always_

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_In my dreams I'll always see you_

_Soar above the sky,_

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you_

_For all my life_

_I'll keep a part of you with me_

_And everywhere I am_

_There you'll be_

Owari

(The End)

C/C Welcome. (Please go easy, it's my first fic ^_^ )


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